The lamp is shedding a dim light through the cheeseplant leaves. The dog is asleep in her bed, there are raindrops still on the outside of the window and all is quiet. The only things I can hear are the faint noise of the waves hitting the beach, the slight hum of the laptop fan and they keys as my fingers tap on them.
I used to write a blog but stopped when I moved house. I did start up again, but I'm buggered if I can remember the site or sign in details. I have a new laptop now so the chances of me finding it again are minimal, so I thought I'd start again from scratch.
I'm currently laid up following more surgery on my destroyed knee and femur. To cut a long story short, I did a baby giraffe impression on the ice outside work 17 months ago. Had I fell on my arse, I'd probably have done much less damage, but I didn't want to look stupid in front of the Barristers I knew and had to associate with. The original Consultant I saw at the hospital was going to operate but decided to wait until the swelling had gone down. He never did operate! He discharged me from his "care" whilst I was still in a splint from ankle to mid thigh and in considerable pain. I asked my GP for a second opinion and was sent to my current Surgeon. 2 operations and £500 worth of braces later, I'm still sat in pain with limited mobility. The last operation involved sanding down the bones that make up the knee joint and putting about a dozen mini fractures into the femur and tibia so that they bleed into the joint. The plan is that it will create a much better surface in the knee to replace the cartilage that has been removed, amongst other things. It's only 12 days since the last operation so I'll give it the full 6-12 weeks to work before I start stamping my foot and pushing for one of what I know are the only options left to me. I'll discuss them at a later date.
I've been back home 5 days and I'm so frustrated it's unbelievable! I've decided that I'm going to attempt to hoover tomorrow. How I'm going to do that when I only have 2 hands and need them both to stand with the crutches is beyond me, but I am a Sappers daughter so I WILL find a way!! I'm also going to attempt to do what few dishes there are and change the bedding. If nothing else, I am stubborn and can be rather pig headed at times. I rarely do as I'm told, and the thought of resting for the next 6-12 weeks and having to rely on others for such things makes me feel sick. I know that sounds stupid, but I'm a very independent female.
The one thing that is frustrating me more than anything at the moment is the fact that I can't have a bath. Normally on a Sunday night I'd turn off the mobile, unplug the landline, pour a glass of wine, put on a classical cd and immerse myself into a candlelit bubble bath for an hour of pure indulgent "me" time. I could get in the bath no problem, but I'd end up calling the Fire Brigade or the SAR Unit from the nearby RAF base to come and get me out. Now, as appealing as that is (a certain newlywed is based there - I fancy his brother something rotten), I have no intention of being seen naked by the local "Cat Catchers". So, I'm going to have to wait. Hopefully I won't have to wait too long as I've asked my GP to refer me for an OT (Occupational Therapy) assessment so that I can get some gadgets to help me live on my own for the next 6-12 weeks whilst we wait to see whether this operation has worked.
And on that note, I'm off to have some more painkillers and a mug of hot chocolate before bed. Sweet dreams to you all.
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