Words...

It's just gone 0700.  I'm sat on the big brown sofa with the voile pulled back so that I can see the sky, which is a pale grey.  The dog is sleeping in her bed and the only noise is the faint whirring of the laptop fan and my fingers tapping on the keys.  There are 2 huge gulls on the roof of the house opposite stretching their wings wide in the drizzle.

I've had about 2hours sleep, fitful at that.  I had an MRI scan yesterday and having my leg straight for 30 minutes has caused no end of pain.  Not even the morphine has eased it.  It's not been the best week really as my knee gave way and I fell down some of the stairs, crashing into the wall and damaging my shoulder.  The crutch stayed on the stair and yanked my shoulder backwards as I fell forwards.  The only saving grace is that it was on the top set of stairs and not the bottom set, or I'd have broken my neck, or worse.

In the great scheme of things, given what has gone on in the past week, I'm relatively unscathed.  What set me off with this post is a combination of the "civil unrest" seen on the streets of our country, a text message, some tweets and a few other blog posts.  The thing that connects all these things is words.  A funny word in itself, as it can mean so many things: the written word, spoken word, actions speak louder than words, it's just a word, can I have a word, what's in a word, a quiet word etc.  They can be misread, misheard and taken in the wrong context if unspoken, or spoken for that matter.  They can do damage or heal, make you laugh, smile or cry and feel a myriad of emotions.  They can cause all manner of images in your head and sound different to each of us.  As you're reading this, are you hearing a voice in your head?  Is it your voice or is is what you imagine my voice to be like?  All this just from a word!

After a hospital appointment, I was sent a text message asking how it went.  I explained that I needed more tests after the latest x-ray had shown some changes that explain the increase in pain and lack of mobility again.  The text message read "how much longer is this going to go on? It's been going on for ages now!".  Now ordinarily, that would have had no effect on me, but as I'm fed up with it all and in considerable pain again, I possibly misread it as the sender being fed up with having to ask how the appointment went and got upset.  I couldn't hear it spoken, so there was no indication of how it was said.  It could have been said with care or sarcasm, I'll never know.  Now I don't really care if people want to know how things are going, they have their own lives and there's nothing they can do about my situation.  There's not much I can do either so I tend to leave the worrying to the Surgeon, after all, he's paid to do so.

As there wasn't much I could do, I spent the week sat in (bored off my skull) and watching the events in London unfold and spread across the country.  I read tweets and occasional text messages from friends who were working on the front line and the feeling of uselessness was amazing, as was the worry for them.  Some of the people I was worrying about were people I don't really "know" and have never met, some were good friends.  The thing that got me thinking most was the ones that I don't really know, and the effect of words.

I don't know how I came to "follow" some of those individuals, but I do know that I am glad I do.  Some of them I don't know their real names, where they live, what they look like, how old they are, what their skin colour is, their background or if they really are who they purport to be.  What I do know is, it doesn't matter!  The majority of those I follow are members of the emergency services, NHS, Armed Forces and Legal profession along with charities I support.  This has made for a rather insightful and emotional week.  Most of my friends in "real life" are made up of the same types of people so I just see it as an extension of my real life.  A lot of them are bloggers, and when I see that they have a new post, I make a cup of tea and sit down to read them.  It's almost like them coming for a chat.  Their words can cheer me up, make me think or make me cry - sometimes all three.  Although written "for the masses" so to speak, some are that well written it's as if they are written just for me, almost like a private conversation if you will.  This is why one blog in particular really got to me.

Generally, as a rule, I don't share the blogs I read outside of the blog site or twitter, but this particular one, written by someone I consider to be a good friend, I felt the need to share on a forum I am a member of, such was the power of it.  It was incredibly well recieved and the comments were positive, with many thanking me for sharing it and asking if they can share it with their friends.  It has since been picked up by the media in a positive way and seems to have echoed the general feeling and change in attitudes across the country towards the Police.  It has been a long time coming, and if nothing else comes from the sickening scenes of the past week, I hope this turn in feeling continues. 

They do a job which isn't always popular.  It's one of those jobs that many people seem to know how to do it better than those trained to do so.  It's a job where it's been almost acceptable to hate those behind the uniform, yet when needed, those that "hate" still call them for help.  The Police don't care if you like them or not, they don't know if you have called them fit to burn or disgusting names.  All they know is you're in trouble and you need them so they come!  It's as simple as that.  They see most of us at our worst yet still care enough to help.  They hear the words used against and towards them but generally choose not to listen.  That's not to say they don't hurt.  That is the power of a word! 

So next time you see a Police Officer, think about the power of a word and choose carefully.  Maybe the only words you really need to say to them are "thank you".  Such small words, yet such a big impact!